Letter to the Editor on Same-Sex Marriage
To the editor: One of the strangest arguments made against gay marriage in letters to the Freeman has been that these marriages would not exist to bring up children, and that that is what marriage is all about. When two good friends of my family were married by Rev. Greenleaf in New Paltz last Saturday, their sixteen-year-old son was with them. A lesbian couple, they decided to have a child together. No child I know has been more wanted or loved. I made them all laugh the first time we met when I assumed the wrong mother had been the birth mother - I thought it would be the parent whose surname had been given to the boy. But of course, when you can't legally marry, one of the few things you can do to assert that the non-birth mother is an equal parent is to give the child her name. The first gay couple I knew who set out to start a family was long ago in San Francisco: the two men went through the city's adoption procedures and adopted a baby boy. He was in daycare with my son. This was a lucky little boy, to have a rabbi and a journalist, who was a former childcare professional, as his parents, in a loving home. In the 2000 Census, 27% of gay couples recorded that they were bringing up children. Those children need their parents to have the right to marry. But what is this about marriage being only for children anyway? Do people want to deny the right to marry to all those heterosexual couples who have no intention of having children? Marriage is good for children, but it's good for much more too. The opponents of gay marriage need to relax. The sky will not fall. Some children will be made happier, and many lovers will feel included as full citizens. No religious organization will be compelled to accept marriages they don't agree with. Relax. It will only put smiles on faces. Dave Belden 191 Cherry Hill Road, Accord, NY 12404 |