And it points out a human trait, perhaps a particularly American trait, I don't know. Amidst all of our gratitude and celebration we become very attached to our identity as a nation, as a people. Our self-definition rests upon our claim of religious, and then political, liberty. Our self-definition rests upon our belief in ourselves as a peace-loving people. Our identity rests upon our own ability to survive on this land, using our ingenuity and skills and holding on through cold winters. Who are we as a people? We are the land of the free and the home of the brave. Thanksgiving is but one example. This is who we are. But it's not all of who we are. So attached are we to our identity as freedom fighters and just people we do not, we cannot, see or own those of our actions which do not fit the profile. In the celebration of the generosity of the Wampanoag Indians on that first Thanksgiving we usually fail to note that within a relatively short while the majority of them, felled by new diseases to which they had no immunity, were wiped out by those very Europeans they shared their venison with. I say this not to make us the feel guilty or ruin Thanksgiving or throw a monkey wrench into the festivities. Do you know that song about a family sitting down to table and asking Uncle Dave to say grace and he gets up and says something like Well, thank you for the food we eat even though it’s full of pesticides; thank you for us being together, even though we used way too much gas to drive and fly here; thank you for our bounty, even though many in the world starve. The song carries on in that vein and ends with the note that maybe next year they won't ask Uncle Dave to say the grace. I don't mean to be Uncle Dave here. But I do want to point out the tendency of human beings in general, including we in this country, to put the parts of ourselves that we don't like or cannot approve into the shadows and render them invisible as ours. Often we then see them in others. Often that for which we condemn others most strongly lies within our own shadow. Have you ever found that what you particularly don’ t like in others is really a part of yourself? In the community of meditators with whom I sit is a person who is very into peace and strongly thinks peace in oneself begets peace in the world. We sit in a church in New Paltz and have had continuing problems with the noise that the staff makes in the room next to us. We have spoken to them about it and it turns out the worst offender is the minister, who has an extremely loud voice. Last week he was making phone calls and shouting down the hall. I left meditation and asked him to speak more quietly, which he did. But I was angry at his, what seemed to me, lack of consideration. However, I was really angry at the discomfort his actions caused me, in that I had to ask over and over again for what our group needed. That is difficult for me. I shared my anger and that insight with the other meditators and the peace-loving woman told me I should not feel angry. I should figure out a way to feel peaceful. As you might imagine, her words did not have a peaceful effect on me. Upon reflection, though, I think a shadow thing happened. She is so determined to be peace that any non-peaceful emotions, however appropriate, are unacceptable to her, and I would guess, especially her own. They reside in her shadow and thus when she sees them in others, she cannot abide them, and she let me know it.
This shadow making is very dangerous because it blinds us to one another and to ourselves and in doing so, causes us to behave in all kinds of unhelpful ways. It chains us to a certain self-image that we cannot live up to and thus perpetuates unrealistic expectations (I have to be peaceful all the time) and a dualistic way of thinking. I’m good and they are not; I’m right and they are wrong; I’m justified and they aren’t. It can make us behave hypocritically. It can perpetuate violence disguised as justice; it does perpetuates the self delusion which stops us from making changes. Earlier this month we held an important election and for the first time in a number of years the Democrats now have control of both the Senate and the U.S. House of Representatives. While I personally hope for changes in our foreign policy, in the wars we currently wage, in issues at home such as health care and living wages, I do not think that simply putting Democrats in power will get us there. An important transformation in our self identity needs to happen in this country if we are to change course and truly become a justice seeking, peace loving people.
Rebecca Parker, a Unitarian Universalist theologian, points a way when she says "The rhetoric that paints our nation as standing for all that is good and righteous and our enemies as evil and insane misses the mark. Such rhetoric prevents us from asking the deeper questions that might turn us in the direction of peacemaking. Our religious communities can help us ask those deeper questions. We don't need any new reminders of human evil, and a fresh shattering of our false innocence. What we need is to soberly assess ourselves and to examine again what we know about the things that make for peace. We need to rededicate ourselves to the values and ways of living that create genuine security for all earth’s people. Yes, we can create hell. But if, as our ancestors believed, we can also create heaven, what is the path we must follow to get us there? " Surely part of that path is illuminating the shadow that resides in our identity as a people, covering those parts of ourselves we would rather not see. The violent, oppressive parts that belie our better selves.
Recently Ted Haggard, a married, evangelical minister of a large mega-church, resigned when a male prostitute accused him of making use of his services and of doing drugs. Haggard was an outspoken opponent of same-sex marriage. When I learned of his situation a part me rose up in righteous indignation and said "Hypocrite!" Another part of me though, felt compassion. Compassion for his own fragmentation as a human being. If the allegations of the male prostitutes are true, Haggard had put that piece of himself into the shadows. He did not deal with it; he did not allow anyone else to see it; he did not pursue a relationship with another man but rather chose to buy the services of a prostitute. All the while declaring marriage to be that between one man and one woman. The price of putting parts of ourselves in the shadow and then rendering ourselves invisible to ourselves is enormous. A person, a nation, divided from it/him/herself suffers and sometimes behaves in self-destructive and/or violent ways. What might have happened if Haggard came out of the closet as a gay evangelical minister of a powerful church? The same resignation, probably, but think of the dissonance it would have caused people. People who condemn gay men suddenly find one in a person they have greatly admired. Transformation of ourselves individually and collectively cannot happen until we have the courage to shine a light into the shadow. Only when we see ourselves can we begin to think, act and feel differently. Only then do we truly love ourselves and each other. "We can create heaven on earth. We need to rebuild with something new as the cornerstone, something new woven into the pattern on the floor. Something that marks the awareness that love for one another is our only security. Faithful solidarity with one another on this planet is the only power that is stronger than violence and terror. Joining hands, working together to create beauty, risking for the sake of a future we hope for but cannot see, but still moving in the direction of what we dream can be. . . Is this enough to save the world? I believe that it is. If the world this to be saved at all, it will be saved this way: bit by bit, in pieces here and there as human beings place their hands together, holding on through the terror to the end, offering the touch of companionship that reaches beyond horror to the assurance of faithful presence, and unbreakable fidelity the counters the infidelity of violence. " (Rebecca Parker)
This Thanksgiving let us begin again. Let us look into our shadows, as individuals and as a people, and let us uncover what we cannot bear to know. It’ s better to know because knowing, we have choices and we can become different.
Let us truly be a force for human cooperation in this world. Let us bring feasting and celebration to all the peoples on earth. We have the resources to do so when we have the will to do so. This year let us make Thanksgiving real. May it be so.